New Year, New Life…
i havent written in a long time, just trying to figure out what to write next. Lately ive made some decisions in my life that may affect me alot. Ive recently actually thought about what i valued in life most.
overall, it all boils down to what really makes me happy. Ive been working at my current job for almost seven years. I thought for a while that what i am making is sufficient enough to make me happy. I work with mostly good people. people whom i have considered friends… but after alot of drama at work, too much drama that it has affected almost every aspect of my personal life. Ive turned to be a very snappy person, i frowned alot, and waking up not wanting to go to a job that i used to be proud of,i was turning out to be someone that im not… i eventually decided that it wasnt worth it, that this was the point where i really have to leave before i let all of these negative emotions eat me up. anything that had to involve drama and affecting me personally isnt worth any amount of money.
it’s just a job… it shouldnt be my life. i still care about my old job and company, but mostly i care about the people that i am about to leave behind. im sad of the fact that i have to leave my friends behind but then again, as my old boss said, think of yourself first.
I decided in less than a week that i wanted to move on. I didnt think i had a chance. Even if i did , it was very very very slim. i was overqualified to begin with. the pay was a huge negotiation from what they were willing to pay for the position, it’s a totally different industry from what i currently am in right now… I wasnt expecting much. i figured, if it were for me then the lord shall provide. Lo and behold, i got an offer letter the days after. initially i had mixed emotions about moving on because i feared change. I feared being in the “discretionary stage” wherein for 90 days, people try to figure out if you are a fit for their company. i had tons of thoughts and what if’s that i kept me awake at night. Anything new creates anxiety for me. I get anxious coz just thats the way i am. but on the other hand,im really excited about this change of pace… i prayed hard for these changes to come. i firmly believe that god has answered my prayers and this IS A BLESSING.
so this new year, ill be starting anew. i see the possibility of being myself in this new job. actually involve myself in doing something that i think i can excel in. the artistry is so”me”. hahaha Right now ive been scrambling for ideas on what to do. my biggest fear? getting artist’s block. hahaha. thats how nervous i am. im nervous because im excited. One thing i remembered, Lisa (my former co worker and friend) saying to me, being nervous about your new job isnt a bad thing. it only means that you do care about this job and that you want yourself to learn and excel. SHE NAILED IT for me.
i just wanted to share. i start on january 7th. 